Saturday Nights

Saturday night... what it meant to me has changed so much across years...
As a student - in school, no extra classes the next day, but still I wanted to sleep early so that I can get up early at 9 to watch my favourite serial on DD .. Tom and jerry followed by Ramayan... have keema paratha for breakfast with egg (Fried, boiled, sunny side up) we used to drive our cook crazy.. it was fun with all.. dad, mom, brothers..
Then these times... just changed.. it became a day of extra classes and studying late nights for the next days CLASS TEST!! (12th std)
NIGHTS for more time with friends / TV (college)...
NIGHTS I would just eagerly wait for to spend with my special someone...
Nights I dreaded because.. It would make me realise how lonely I am feeling...
And now, It’s just a another night.. Where sometimes I have loads of me time, Unwinding after a hectic day at work.
And these Saturday nights are sometimes fun, sometimes shocking and sometimes an awesome night out with your friends... who are just there... in sickness and in health... (literally LOL) !!!
Saturday nights, where u feel all independent and grown up enough, to be out till 4 in the morning and no one to answer.
Nights, where you no more ask , just inform, people who matter that you will be late... not to wait for dinner... without cracking your brains up for an excellent excuse..
But I still can’t deny that fact that.. Saturdays are not what they used to be..
Somewhere it was more fun earlier.... actually life was more fun and more free earlier than now.. I now have all the means to have fun and be free... yet..
I can’t help but wonder... when did life stop being fun... and start becoming scary and I became all cautious of everything... cautious of what I say, what I do, who I be with, who I don’t....
When you are young, your life is all about the pursuit of fun... fun with friends, Fun playing, fun just giggling... taking risks to just enjoy...
Then you grow up.. and learn to be cautious... cause.. you may break a bone, or put on weight (even if it’s 300 gms) if you have an extra piece of cake...
You become cautious of becoming spontaneous, getting close to people, forming new relations for the fear of breaking your heart......you look before you leap... and sometimes you don’t leap at all.. because there is no one to catch..
It’s childish to deny that my life is changing...
They say that an unexamined life is not worth living... but what if the examining becomes your life.. QUESTIONS LIKE ...why this happened.. what went wrong.. what did I do wrong / right... what next... how can I not repeat this again.. and the classic rationalization “WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THIS EXPEREINCE”
Is all this questioning really life... or is it procrastinating?????... and what if all these Saturday nights of fun and independence and long conversations of QUESTIONING THE EVENTS which happen to you with your friends (in my case girlfriends) have made me all GIRL TALK... and NO GIRL ACTION... is it time to stop QUESTIONING???
The thing to realise in that sometimes in life there are no safety nets... you must take a leap anyway....
I have decided, it’s time to leave fear behind... and have some fun.... (With or without the safety net)