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Thursday, July 7, 2011

The decade that was....

I know it’s a little late in the year to contemplate over and talk about what happened in the last decade.. But as they say... better late than never...

At the beginning of the decade, I wanted to take a step back and ponder on the decade that was... the most happening decade of my life... The decade of many wonderful beginnings and traumatic ends!!!

And I guess not only for me... for many others like me, around me... the decade gone by has been special / different in some way or the other for everyone... and think about it.. it has to be..... because by default atleast a couple of significant life events have to happen to a person in a decade..

Events like, End of education, start of work, marriage, children

If one is really lucky and lets others decide for him/her, all of the above 4 events can happen in 10 years!!

If one doesn’t want to contribute to population explosion or just lazy... then 3 out of the 4...

If one (read me) is suffering from inertia, commitment phobia, trust issues, boredom issues, variety issues then 2 out of 4

And if one is born to really rich parents... and / or is also a loser..... one or non out of 4

Well, enough of cynicism.. ..Let’s get to the Decade that was....

When I started writing this post.. I wanted to dwell upon all the significant, life changing events that happened to me in the last ten years...... but then what is gone is gone... and what it left behind are a few life altering realisations, learning’s and deeper understanding of myself ....

My decade started with a new job.. infinite possibilities... discovering my strengths at work... and my first step towards my career goals... and that’s when I learnt that “ things that come quickly into your life are the ones that you believe in the most!” I love my work..... believe in the goodness of what it offers and success just came... I guess god was personally monitoring my progress and blessed me at every step.... for which I am eternally grateful...

I went from losing myself to rediscovering myself... there was a time when, whatever I did or even felt was just to make a few people happy and be with me.. but then I started missing who I used to be and realised that, someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger.. but they will never be ME!

I went from feeling very lonely in a house full of family to feeling loved and cared for even in deserted cancer ward in a big city hospital... that’s when I realised....... The only people who accept you for who you are and love you no matter what...... are the ones who you call family...... and no boyfriend, career, even friends can ever replace that and it’s never too late to make that bond stronger or for that matter even create a bond if there isn’t one already.

I went from drowning in self pity with a badly bruised heart and rock bottom self esteem (the worst of the decade) to the following life altering realisations.....

“There is meaning to my pain if I rise above it”

“In life there are always undesirable things, so in order to feel better; I just need to look at life from a different direction”

“The things or events that have happened to me in life don’t need an answer they just need a grateful heart ... and if I have gratitude I will find peace in everything and everywhere”

And the most important realisation of all, “I need to love myself, to be be amazed by the satisfaction life presents.”

And bam... life just changed...... because that’s the thing about time and realisations.... Sometimes a decade can pass by in an uneventful second with a numb head... and then in just 2 years.... monumental things can happen...

Things that give so much wisdom... wisdom to know that...

Time doesn’t really heal everything automatically.. its what we learn during the given time that heals.... it really does... fixes a broken heart... broken trust... as well as some very stubborn scars and fat deposits!!!

Sometimes even if you are not sure of your direction or lost or wondering what the hell is happening....... you can still find your way to something wonderful because seriously.... If life always waited for us to understand what’s going on..... nothing awesome would ever happen......

It’s not always necessary to use your feelings for everything,.........sometimes you also need to use your brains!!

And now six months down in my next decade... I am here with the confidence and faith that ... the next ten years will be equal (if not more eventful) as my previous one... because I know that, “Faith is the continual demonstration of strength and wonder of life”

I may not be where I need to be... but I thank god I am not where I used to be!!!!

I may not have had all the major events in the last decade (marriage, children) ... the new decade looks promising...

It’s been lucky... we won the world cup.

I finally got my house renovated.

I have made my next career and relationship decision.

I have managed to accept that I am lovable with and without the weight.

So here’s hoping that by the end of the next decade... you would be reading my views in a book (which you would have bought voluntarily because it would be a best seller and winner of many book awards) and some of you who are thinking ... I’ll give you guys a complimentary copy.. dream on!!! :P :P :P

love always
Paro.