LIVE WHILE YOU ARE ALIVE!!!
When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard”, I am always tempted to ask, “compared to what?”
I was trying to figure out, why certain things are harder for me to get than for many other people I know.. Things like weight management, marriage management, finance management and I can really go on...
Is it because of my upbringing, family background, twisted thinking ???
I always wished... I was thinner, I was braver or just simply happier.. and sometimes I actually believed that its useless to dream because nothing ever changes...
And when I actually sat down with these thoughts on life... I realised.. I am the one who is RESPONSIBLE for all these “Certain Things” not to happen.. because when they do happen I SIMPLY DONT ENJOY THEM....
What I do is, whenever I get what I want.....
I worry about how it will turn out, how will I manage????
I don’t appreciate it, coz it’s little too late (when I don’t get them on the time I wanted)
I am not happy because it’s not packaged well....
And the above thoughts are so overpowering that I lose the feeling of happiness, contentment, peace... which I can actually feel after achieving or simply getting what I wanted... and this has been an issue... since I got my first Barbie... so rather than being happy and enjoying it... I was paranoid that my brothers.. will tear her clothes off.. lol
And the same fear continued, when I got my tenth results (will I get admission in a good college??)... my last relationship (is he the right guy, will this really last??).... my current job (how will I keep up with all these expectations??) my blog (am I sharing too much??)
So instead of enjoying the moment / experience and living my life.. .. I was worried about what will happen... I was afraid of failure.. or I just wasn’t satisfied... and crushed by self expectation and perception of others expectation and blah blah...
Because in all this twisted mind screwing processes....
I forgot ...
Failure in life is inevitable... It is impossible to live without failing. Unless you live so cautiously, (without talking any risks, being resistant to change, living in your own protective shell) which is actually not living AT ALL!!!...and then YOU FAIL BY DEFAULT....
I forgot
That fear offers you .. a chance to surprise yourself.. to discover something about yourself you didn’t know you had...
I forgot
That the great thing about humans is that they change....
I forgot
That if I can get up everyday, stay optimistic and believe the future is better, I can go a long way.....
I forgot
To stay in touch with my feelings and experience them they way they are ...
I forgot
To love myself ....
I forgot
To STOP and not THINK!!
And most importantly I forgot
You start living when you are born... but UR ALIVE... when you LIVE....
Cheers!!
Parveen
ok , This is might seem completetly unrelated to the post above , but it just got me to remember the best divali holidays i've ever had . And it was a few years back where i went with a classmate of mine to his village in Erandol District, some 500km from Bombay by BIKE !! That was quite a trip . Butt ache apart , it was really a memorable holiday in a very small village in the confines of Maharasthra .
ReplyDeleteI'd never been to such a small village , let alone lived in one , and it still really makes me happy just to think of it . I lived at my classmate's place , who happened to be the son of the biggest land owner there . It was a very small village of about 4000 inhabitants . Accessed only by a dirt road . Electricity was for only 2 hours in a day . and the people so hospitable . Treated me like royalty . I ate like a king . Simple but nice food . My days went roaming around the place . ( shadowed by many kids of the village ) plucking sita phul , or just lying by the trees while my host was overlooking the workers in the cotton fields . Reading at the time was " A suitable boy " . A well chosen book as the characters too lived for some time in a typical indian village ! . I'd doze off too in the afternoon to be woken up by the village girls bringing tea and pakodas .
I'd got to do things i've never done before , like milking a cow , or driving a bullock cart . I was learning so much too as part of my curriclum was on rural life which i got to witness 1st hand . I went for trips to nearby towns to visit other classmates , or distinct old temple off any tourist map. At night , we'd take some village boys and by bullock cart go watch hindi movie in an open air cinema screen - dance when salman khan would do a star appearance for a song .
I'd sleep on a charpoy on the terrace amongst the stars. watch the whole village lit up by traditional diyas (divali ) Wake up to the cocks crowing and the cows mowing .
Wow , that was a holiday - cut off from the world ! No news , no newspapers , no internet , , no mobile . No contact with the outside world. . No worries about exams , career , girl friend, wat i was planning to do later on , parents , ST buses , teachers , bills , you name it ! I was having the time of my life .
All goes to be that i think it's all a question of perspective. I know it was just a holiday , and i probably would have found it hard if i had to live there and not be just a guest . Back to our so called "real " life it's a matter of wat we choose . Choose to follow the untreaded path , or the known treaded difficult part . sometimes we know there is trouble ahead and avoid it , sometimes we decided to challenge it . sometimes we invite it not knowing how much trouble it might bring ( like do you remember the day we 1st met parveen ? when after that group discussion , you offered your help to anyone - you must still be still cursing yourself for that invitation , but lucky me ;) ) And the undeniable factor of LUCK. And the perspective we live thru it is all a personal one .
Choices i take and everyone in general i guess is all in the hope that things will turn out better and happier !
Of course , i'm right now still a student .I've not lived life to give any advice ( maybe when i'm 60 , then you'll be 70 , i'll consider ) then i'm not replying to your blog to give any advice , but maybe another perspective that things are certainly easier when you surround yourself with the right people , ( you have a big role in that ) , the support, the guidance , your ghalis and all the rest . (truthfully , i really miss bombay for people like you here ) makes things more managable . cos i know i wont stop complaining , maybe less , maybe on other aspects , certainly none of what you're used to hearing from me ;)
What say ?
Yes!!! Just Living life and enjoying life are totally different things.I do agree..Most of the people live life because they have to, and others they live it because they love life...U know I always thought the opposite of love is not hate its "fear"...and u talk about the same thing.. people don't love their life because they are scared of being rejected, being left out, being judged, being criticzed..and many other things.. we are not greatful about the things we have...dont know why???
ReplyDeleteIt is true that it is extremely important to "LIVE" but our heart is so naive that worrying about other things seems to be more impotant.....In this new year i had decided that i would not give a damn to what ppl say and follow my heart but m already struggling to keep my resolution going......Thanx for the beautiful column ...It surely will help me to stick to my resolution....may what come...!!!!!
ReplyDeletevery well written indeed....
ReplyDelete